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rant

An update after much time... to feed -- but what?

on Wednesday, 18th May 2011 - 21:33

It's been awhile!

That said, life with baby Kiran has been busy and eventful.  Since my last post, Kiran has had many firsts.  His first visit to Toronto (via car - a normally 9 hour journey taking 16 hours).  His first visit to France and flight via airplane.  His second visit to Toronto and his first really really bad cold/sore throat.  He's now suffering through his first earache - possibly as a result of the previous cold/sore throat and taking antibiotics.

There has been very little time for me and my blog.  In that time, Kiran has gone from being 2 months old, to 3 months, and 4 months.  Now he's half way through his fourth month (practically 5 months!) and I'm off back to work mid-June.

Before all of the travelling, our little one would calm himself and fall into a deep sleep - being on a schedule loosely based on Gina Ford's Contented Baby Book.  But within two nights of arriving in France, our little one learnt that crying would draw our attention (he stopped and smiled the moment we came to the crib).  Thereafter, it's been a bit of a wrestling match putting him to bed.  Getting sick definitely is a setback as his every cough and cry was attended to.  Now I'm trying to get him back to consuming an 'appropriate' amount of food given that his appetite decreased considerably while sick.  (To give an idea, where he used to drink 6 oz. he went down to 4 oz. and now is only on 5 oz. at an average feed). 

How do I know this?  Because of my 'Adventures in pumping breastmilk'.  I, possibly like my own mother, am not someone to spend my days and nights with my baby.  As much as I love him - by 4 months I feel the need for some independence.  I think I gave it a good go at breast feeding though.  The first real hurdle I encountered was soon after returning from France when I myself was suffering from the cold/sore throat and felt my milk supply was not quite enough for my hungry youngling.  Things normalized only for him to get sick as well and this meant the demand went down just as my supply had caught up.  Finally, sleep deprived after having spent 10 days in Toronto looking after a baby who didn't sleep during the day (being the mother who didn't sleep during the day)... I felt Kiran being the size of your average 6-9 month old - judging from the size of his clothing - is ready for formula.

So for a week and a half I attemed to feed him formula 2x daily during the daylight hours and feed him breastmilk for the remainder of the time.  I did try pumping, but found that it really took less time to feed him than it did to pump.  Given all the excitement of the last two months - there has been literally no extra time in my day that I could dedicate to pumping (and I may have mistakenly left half my hand pump in Boston while in Toronto).  So curb ball after curb ball - I've decided to stop breast feeding.  I've lost my patience in watching Kiran complaining out of disatisfaction after the foremilk is drained.  I'm not patient and neither is he to wait for the 'good stuff''.

1.  Might I re-iterate that my decision to formula feed from this point onwards has a lot to do with the fact that he is very tall and big for his age.  This means the demand for nourishment is great compared to if he was half his weight.  (You require about 2.5 oz/lb baby... to a max of 32 oz.) 

2.  My condifence in providing a nourishing supply of milk (that fills him up as opposed to him crying out of hunger after a short time) is the second influence.

3.  My patience to sit there and feed him (and his patience to feed) is the third influence.

Do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself? Definitely!  This is NOT an easy decision and I'm reminded of a good friend who found she could not provide her infant with milk from the very begining - having to give him formula from the begining - and how crushed she seemed.  The reality is, at the end of the day - you need to do what is right for your baby.  I searched the web for some information and determined that although many people choose to formula feed (whether from the beginning or later) - there is very little support given to mothers who make the difficult decision to go from breast feeding to formula feeding.  There is SO much polarized views online. 

In the same breath - there are polarized views on feeding solids (whether you start from 4 months or 6 months or later).  There are also polarized views on potty training.  To tell truth, Kiran pees on the potty every now and then.  He's not required - and we don't expect him to - but we do put him on the potty from time to time.  Is there any sense to it? Yes, our baby knows that there's an alternative to peeing in his pants.  Does he care? Probably not.  He's more interested in eating his hands than anything else.

Kiran HAS been showing excellent signs that he was ready to start solids.  Sitting up, turning his head, licking his lips and staring and mimicking me when watching me eat.  I've introduced a few pots of baby food and he's happily sampled.  He mostly plays with the food in his mouth, sucking on his fingers and occasionally swallowing.  Yes, his poop has turned smelly (and peas have the effect of giving him smelly farts)... but he seems happy enough.  It's more of an effort on my part to feed him solids. 

Things are changing at lightening speed.  But he really is the cutest baby I've ever seen.

Then again, I'm biased.  Even when we're in the middle of listening to his ear wrenching screams because he just doesn't want to be in his cot at bedtime.  Imagine if someone invented a device to understand a baby's cries? I'm very grateful to my husband who is patient with the two of us.

Until the next time I have a chance to post!

Cheers!