pregnancy

Pregnancy, among other things - is a time for couples to unite and to bond over shared experiences.  The experience I have will not be the same as the experience he has and not to mention the responses tinged with extreme hormones.  One moment you're happy and singing softly to your belly and the next moment you're a storm cloud and raging about how the world is unfair and you're all alone.

Husbands do get a bum wrap and I'm just as guilty as anyone else for either taking advantage, not appreciating, or just failing to see what he's actually up to.  A husband has to put up with his wife's moods; fill in for her when her ankles are swollen and dinner would just otherwise not be made; and offer her back rubs and constant encouragement.  He's also expected to keep up with his usual workload or hobbies and to do his fair share of the chores.  

But for a woman, what we think in the moment is what is the most important thing (at least when pregnancy brain sets in).  We know that if we don't do something immediately, it's just not going to get done. So we feel hurt when our husbands are too busy to just drop what they're doing and jump in with full enthusiasm.  

This pertains to the setting up of baby registries, websites, cooing over pictures of a cute nephew, and all manner of things.  

So its important to remember that patience is a virtue.  Trust as well that your husband (or partner) will be there when necessary.  He may not always see things eye to eye, but he will at least try - for your sake.  

We found out several months ago that we were pregnant!  Actually, Steph was at a conference at the time and I remember sending the picture of the pee-stick during a skype conversation.  The look of happiness on his face was priceless.  Unfortunately his roomate had just walked in because he couldn't blurt out what was in his thoughts. 

Later, when he was back we celebrated privately and our lifestyle changed for a time.  I'm extremely happy for having a job and work to distract me during the days and I would return home exhausted only to pass out on the bed and sleep for 12 or more hours straight.  Somehow it worked and the feelings of nausea and the usual bloatedness had little effect on my day time performance.  But we did become reclusive - not going out to dinners and spontaneous parties as we otherwise would or could have.

Steph is a wonderful husband, attending to my every beck and call.  He really empathized and could see that when I could carry on no further from exhaustion or when I was frustrated from being randomly turned off or on from foods (which could happen at a moment's notice), he would patiently take the offensive bit and put it on his own plate.  Mornings, I was allowed to sleep in an extra hour while he prepared tea and breakfast.

Life as an ogre isn't too much fun and as we came to the begining of 12 weeks it was with great relief that I could feel my energy levels returning.  I could finally make that 20 minute walk to Davis Square and back (which I was bypassing with a bus on a regular basis).  My body also feels a bit less bloated though I've long since been unable to wear my jeans and other pants due to a slightly expanded waistline. 

I cheat with maternity pants (though I'm hardly showing!) because it's like wearing track pants - but nobody knows!

We've had a few scans to confirm the baby's heart beat and health - unfortunately none of the pictures are more than a blob on a black and white screen - so I'll hold off on pictures to give this baby some due respect.  You'll see her or him when he or she is good and ready to come out!

Thanks for all the supportive wishes and I look forward to hearing good advice from all the mums out there.  My parents are thrilled to be having a second grandchild and for Steph's parents it will be their first!

As to the benefits of using folic acid - I realise that the number of births was 1.57 per 1000 births (of the 1.3 million studied) in Quebec from 1990-2005 were born with severe congenital heart defects.  This was reduced to 0.90 or 0.97 per 1000 births post fortification.  (They do site a reduction of 6% per year).  Now, let's say 2 babies out of every 1000 births had birth defects - so now only 1 baby out of every 1000 births has birth defects.  Does that mean that adding B12 (folic acid) to our diets will actually be much of a benefit?