On Saturday, my heart stopped... and then restarted...

A mother's heart envelopes her family.  If my child (or even my husband) were to come into any type of danger - this would effect my heart greatly.  On Saturday, my heart stopped - and then restarted (and I am speaking in the figurative sense).  

My son was feverish all day and I had administered a dose of Ibprofen.  As it started to wear off, what I should have done was administer Acetomenophen or another does of Ibprofen (I realise now based on his weight I had also under dosed him).  That and a faulty thermometer, led him to have a high fever of 104 deg F.  I heard him moan and came to pick him up and found him in a non-responsive state, eyes wide open and pupils dilated and rolled back.  Calling out his name and my husband's, I felt so helpless just holding him.

Within seconds of realising that this was very serious, we left lights and tv and all manner of things in the house undone - rushed to the car and drove him to emergency.  By the time he was locked into his car seat, he had come to and was loudly talking in his baby talk to say that he was very angry indeed.  Maybe, if I could understand him, he would be telling me all of the things that were wrong with him that moment - but he is yet to speak in a language I can understand - and so, all I could do was sooth him with my presence and songs.  

Cambridge Hospital may be a small hospital, but their ER is fast.  We were admitted within minutes of appearing and Kiran promptly threw up the contents of his stomach soon afterwards.  The nursing staff and ER pediatrician were absolutely wonderful in calming all of us down, establishing what had happened, and administering the appropriate dosage of medicine to bring the fever down. Once they were convinced that he could hold down some fluids and had conducted several tests, we were free to go home.

Words really can not describe the emotional roller coaster.  I was so relieved that he is ok.  That a Febrile Seizure is an indicator and not the beginning of anything worse yet to come.  From the NHS.UK site.. 

During simple febrile seizures, the body will become stiff and the arms and legs will begin twitching. The patient loses consciousness, although their eyes remain open. Breathing can be irregular. They may become incontinent (wet or soil themselves); they may also vomit or have increased secretions (foam at the mouth). The seizure normally lasts for less than five minutes.

So knowing that he can have one, means keeping his temperature down.  I learnt a lot this weekend and I recognize how much I didn't know and was not prepared for.  K-man has had so many colds and coughs since he was born.  He's had so many fevers and ear infections.  As I learn and know how to recognize things, I too will learn how to respond.  There is so much to know, and so much that is unknown.  Now, I will never see fever in the same light again.  I know I still won't be one of those obsessive mums, but I am greatly relieved that the fact that I am not such an obsessive mum didn't bite me in the butt.  On the one hand, we protect our children - but at some point, we also need to encourage them to be strong and independent.  

As a parent, we wish for "just one stress-free weekend".  There will always be something when you have such an adventurous spirit parading around your house.  I'm happy for friends and family who are close, even if they are not physically close.  To feel that there are people around whom you can lean on if you do need to get a few extra hours of sleep or have someone else hold your baby for a few hours.  Life really has never been the same since I had the little K-man.  I miss the old life, but I definitely do not regret the new life.

Now, if only I could get that traumatic point in my life (upon finding my son having a seizure) out of my mind.  It is the stuff of nightmares.  I only hope that by posting this, other parents become aware.