On surviving my 1st week back at work...

I trust my Nanny who gets the day shift.  I trust my husband who gets the morning shift.  I have to, don't I?  I have no choice.  Back to work without being the watchful hawk looking over their shoulders as I have done for the two weeks prior.  Happy indeed with how comfortable they are with little K and how I am slowly losing control of all of the aspects of his growth and development.

Not entirely.

I still get to dictate what and when he eats and sleeps... and his general attire etc.

But I'm not there to see his every smile, hear his every coo and watch his every waking moment.  For that I'm sad and have been reminding myself of what it would be like if I have a 21 year old K still under my watchful eye.  That helps a little bit. 

So the letting go begins from now and doesn't stop until he has long since left the house.  Is every stage as difficult?  

I'm reminded of my age, and that I'm not going to be there for him forever and always - though I want to.

My baby is like my first love.  There is nothing to describe how special he is... and then he goes and spits up.  So going back to work isn't such a bad thing.

There will be plenty more firsts that I will get to experience and I will need to content myself with that.

But every day of this week, I have been power walking to work and back - with the only thing on my mind - seeing little K.